Through the grapevine...

So before a game Barry Bonds approached John Olerud, who plays first base and chooses to wear a helmet (as apposed to a regular cap) while playing the field, and said to him something along the lines of – dude, you wear a helmet to play first, I used to play with a guy who wore a helmet at first base - wierd…to wit John responded by saying – yeah, I used to play with a guy named Bonds who had a much smaller head and was skinny and fast, weird huh…

Ok, I made that last part up, but the first part is true – apparently the human growth hormones are a detriment to long term memory…

Anyway – smart money says that Barry will retire sooner than later – I’m talking before this year’s all star break…it’ll be the best for baseball and the best for him…and he’s no doubt under a lot of pressure to shit (hit a bunch of home runs) or get off the pot (retire and disappear until it comes time for the Hall of Fame) from the Baseball Gods…

In other news – me and my major get along fabulously…probably the best working, professional relationship that I’ve ever had – RESPECT – both ways – a beautiful thing…anyway – we shoot the shit randomly throughout the day…from my stories about my young life, my fiascos within fantasy sports, or me giving her nonstop shit about George Mason beating the crap out of UNC in the tournament – we have a good time…

Meanwhile, she has a lot of college stories – she’s a University of North Carolina grad (probably one of the reasons we get along so well) – and she’s pissed me off more than once – whether it be her meeting and watching a game with the DEAN himself, Dean Smith, or the autographed picture of Roger Clemens that she randomly pulled out (he happens to be my baseball Jesus) or the stories of her husband playing pick up ball with Mike (yeah- that one)…anyway – the other afternoon we were in one of our sessions and she started in on a “have I told you this one before” stories…

(A bit of a prelude here – UNC (Dean Smith) has (had) a reputation as not only a school that would recruit and pull some of the best players in the country, but would graduate them as well…I’d say, percentage-wise, UNC (Dean Smith), had more than 90 to 97 percent leave Carolina with a degree…whether it be a regular four-year degree or a player left school to go to the NBA and then returned (in the off-season) and eventually graduated – basically he put degrees in these kids’ hands (taking care of the man and not just raping him for his basketball talent)…which is lovely…)

Now on with the show…

My major attended UNC during Marion Jones’ pre-steroid years, and while Rick Fox (real name Ulrich - seriously, look it up!) was there during his pre-shitlock hairdo days…anyway…so she goes on to tell me about how the Dean was able to ensure to so many degrees (which look GREAT to mothers of potential recruits)…he apparently had a “contract” or at least some sort of gentleman’s agreement between the players that if they left school early then he (“the university”) would get some percentage (something like 10% is what she said) of that player’s yearly contract until they graduated…talk about incentive…but the proof – as they say – is in the pudding…

While in her final year there, one of her friends who dated/knew Rick Fox, happened to see him on the campus during summer semester…what the hell are you doing back here was the obvious question and the nappy head himself spilled the beans and basically said I’ve gotta hurry up and get this degree so coach’ll stop takin’ my money…

Yet another reason why Dean Smith is a shining example of what college athletics should be about…or something like that…ha!

On my way…

Back to the States folks…hooooray! – I bought my tickets this afternoon – two words – Bling Bling! – wholly crap is it expensive to fly back to the EastCoast from here…you’d think I was all the way on the other side of the planet or somethin’! ha!…I can’t say when I’ll be there ‘cause it’s a secret to some – but I will say that I ain’t coming back to Kimchi-land ‘til June – bong!

Anyway – I’m freggin’ exhausted…been a looooong week…just one thing after another – nothing major – just a bunch of little annoyances AND I’ve gotta make sure I knock the magazine out before I fly…here's some of the goings on from the land of the morning calm...

Monday morning I was up around 5a.m. to get ready to go to the range and shoot my M16…good stuff – you’ve got to qualify in order to be “allowed” to take leave so I’ve been trying to get on a range through my unit for a couple months now…never seen such a jacked up situation as how they run the ranges in this unit – simply amazing…anyhow – coordinated with the Special Reaction Team (A group of high-speed military police personnel who are there to shoot to kill and what not at a moments notice) and they let me come out and shoot while they were there – simply put – the BEST and easiest range experience BY FAR that I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing since I’ve been in the military… I got there – qualified – and was back before lunch…had I gone to a regular range with my unit – I’d probably STILL be there…good stuff…

So that afternoon I took my new range qualification scorecard up to the unit along with my leave request to turn it in…and they kicked it back…apparently 12 days before I return from my leave my PT test will have passed six months and I would then become “out of tolerance” (while I was still on leave) and this dickhead handed me back my leave form and said I had to take a PT test – fucker…

It wasn’t so much the fact that he told me I had to take one – it’s just the apparent attitude that I couldn’t pass one or that I was somehow trying to jump the system and get over…whatever…

Tuesday morning formation and physical training was cancelled due to the treacherous Yellow Dust…this shit apparently is blown in from the deserts of China and will “fuck you up” – it even made the front page of the paper in D.C. as being one of the worst “Dust seasons in recent memory” - so we were all advised to stay in doors and minimize outside activity…done and done…nonetheless, that night one of my Soldiers goes to the freggin’ hospital because the she apparently developed an allergic reaction to the Yellow Dust causing conjunctivitis – or “eye shits” – and they put her on quarters for 24 hours…amazing…

Wednesday it rained, which was great because it killed all the murderous yellow dust…meanwhile I’m (we’re) in an ongoing pissing contest with a commander from one of our subordinate commands about what I’m going to run in our magazine…he wants his unit’s stuff in the ROK Steady because he freggin’ cancelled the funding for his magazine and now needs pages in ours – to which I respond to my boss with a forceful - yet professional - “fuck that ma’am” ...fair enough…

People all over the Peninsula send me stuff all the time – I read it – look at the photos and give it fair consideration as to whether or not it’ll fit within our pages…the ROK Steady ain’t Rolling Stone or anything, but I do hope to at least maintain the level that we’ve established with our placing in the last Army level competition…that being said – what his unit is submitting is utter crap…like I said “fuck that ma’am”…and she supports my decisions – which is nice…hell, he’s only a one-star general! Ha!

Thursday I made a lot of progress with some layout things in the magazine – I think I like it – not sure – but I think I do…we shall see…it’s training, training and more training – some of the best photos in one magazine that I’ve ever seen and I think it will go over like a champ…anyway – around four o’clock I’ve got an entire office of Soldiers sitting around with their proverbial fingers up their butts (Thursdays are usually a slow afternoon throughout the entire Army)…so I tell them to go home…oooops…

Not six minutes later my major is freakin’ about nobody bein’ in the office…hasn’t needed anything done all day and suddenly at four the sky is falling…so I bring EVERYONE back in – for what basically amounted to them re-inserting their fingers into their respective anus’s…whatever…in turn – the hours of the public affairs office will now be strictly enforced and adhered to…word! In other news – the beatings will apparently continue until morale improves…

Friday I woke up to take a PT test so that I could finally get my leave signed – bastards…I’ve got to do 42 push ups in two minutes and 50 sit ups in two minutes and then run two miles in 16 something minutes…I got down there and knocked out 80 (no shit!) push ups – I did 64 and a half in the first minute (really surprised myself on that - good stuff)…and then slowly pulled off 72 sit-ups…I can’t imagine what would happen if I actually worked out…scary! Ha! – oh, and I passed my run…(shut up)…

So I’m on my way folks – back to the States for a while…should be interesting – especially since it will just be a prelude to when I move back in a couple months…word up! Mahalo…

Yummmmmy!


I actually planned on writing a nice post today – but alas, I lost my motivation and said screw it for now…here’s another photo of your’s truly to hold you over – that’s me enjoying some of the tasty goodness that is the South Korean cuisine while out in Seoul with some of the Korean homies - yeah Chop stick kung fu grippa style - take the piece of fresh lettuce - then add the rice - and then the freshley grilled strips of Bagogi (beef) simply marvelous! HA!…anyway, should end up being an informative post – PT Test, Range Qualification, a Letter from the Command Sgt. Major at the War College, and an interesting story about University of North Carolina basketball…oh! AND yellow dust - hooray!...stay tuned!

me (skinny white dude in the middle) workin' Kung Fu Grippa style with Mrs. Ha, our Korean "PAO" lady...Rock!

HA!
got this email tonight...BONG!

SGT Fincham,
You are on orders for the War College in PA, congratulations. You are also in your reup window and a category that I am really struggling on. By any chance, would you be willing to do a 2 year reup? It would put your ETS date at April 2008. Once you get to your next duty station, you will not be able to reup for anything due to the Time On Station requirements. Please give me a call.

MSG Andrew D. Bevil
Senior Career Counselor
HHC, USATC-K

Finch is off to college…
Well - A - college anyway…

Everyone in my shop that could be put on orders HAS been put on orders in the last week or so…Fort Bragg (Iraq), Fort Sil (Iran – oops – Iraq), an extension here in Korea… so today I went on the Army’s human resources command website and logged in to see if I was on any sort of orders…hehehehehe – and sure enough – I’m on orders to report on the 10th of September…hehehehehe…to where you ask?

To Carlisle Barracks, PA…that’s where…home of the U.S. Army War College…

It boasts being “The premier institution for strategic leadership and for the study of landpower.” – and if that doesn’t describe ME in a nutshell – well – then shit…HA!

And NO, I’ll not be attending the Army War College – jeeeze…that’s for General Officers – basically ANY AND EVERY high ranking leader that will one day very soon lead not only this country’s Army – but the Country itself…

For me though (besides being in a posistion to potentially impress or make good with someone with clout that can hook me up with steps towards my future - of which i have done a bit of already! ha!) I’m thinkin’ – Pirates games, Phillies games, Eagles games, Steelers games, Phlyers games, Soul Games, Sixers games, New York City, Atlantic City, Close to Mom in Richmond, close to friends in B-More, being in Tim and Brietta’s wedding in Kentucky…and ETS in June...Muuuuah! peaces!...please be true…please, please, please, please!

Needless to say (see, I said it again!) I’m very excited…which leads me to this…it HAS to be too good to be true or something…I mean…Finch and “excited” just hasn’t happened in a very long time now…this is a blessing and my honest first reaction (besides smiling until my face hurt) was to just stop for a moment and say thank you to the big homie in the sky…I just pray that this is his handy-work and not some keyboard slip made by someone in Washington who will soon realize the mistake and send me back to the desert…selah…

Very happy, and very excited right now…a wonderful opportunity and a glorious turn of events that the word unexpected cannot begin to adequately describe…so here’s hoping…

OH YEEEAAAH!

Minister goes into "Dodgeball Rage"

This is wonderful...just classic stuff here...
LIBERTY, Missouri (AP) -- A youth minister was charged with assault for allegedly knocking down a 16-year-old boy and kicking him in the groin after taking a head shot from the teen in a dodgeball game.

David M. Boudreaux, 27, was charged Wednesday with one count of third-degree assault. According to court documents, the incident happened in February at Crescent Lake Christian Academy.

Authorities said the teen missed Boudreaux with one throw but then knocked the youth minister's glasses off with the next.

The boy apologized, authorities said, but Boudreaux pushed him backward, and when the teen got up again Boudreaux kicked him in the groin and left.

The teen suffered whiplash and post-concussion syndrome and had blood in his urine after being kicked, according to court records. Boudreaux later apologized, prosecutors said.

Jeanne D. Hewitt, administrator of Crescent Lake Christian Academy, said Boudreaux had been placed on administrative leave.